Vol. 7, No. 8, 1990

Articles on Jehovah's Witnesses

James Allridge III

(The following is a testimony of a man on Death Row who had been a life long Jehovah's Witnesses (sic).)

From the early age of three years old I can remember being bundled up in warm clothing, carried out to the car and driven to the Kingdom Hall. At that time, my mother was not too serious about the Jehovah's Witnesses so we did not go that often.

It was not until we moved to Fort Worth after my father retired from the Army that she really began to get serious and we began attending on a regular basis.

Like most children of Jehovah's Witnesses, I attended every meeting, had our weekly home Bible studies, joined the Theocratic Ministry School, participated in the field service and even conducted Bible Studies with our neighbors so that we were allowed to play with them.

It was strictly forbidden to play with "worldly people." They had to be interested in learning about Jehovah.

At that time, I was very zealous in the "truth" because I actually believed that it was the only true religion. However, as I reached my teen years, I gradually began to dislike all of the rules and restrictions that were placed on me.

I felt that if my mother had no confidence in the things she had instilled in my heart, then something was seriously wrong. So I began to rebel.

But I always tried to keep Jehovah in my heart. After I was jailed, I asked my mother to have the elders come and talk to me. Their reply was they had to wait until the trial was over and see what the outcome was.

They came and I was informed that I would have to show a truly repentant attitude before they could even come and talk to me on a regular basis. So when I was sent to the Texas Department of Corrections to await my execution, I began to talk to others about the Bible and the things that I had learned.

My mother, ever-faithful, subscribed me and another friend to the Watchtower and Awake! magazines. No Bible study would be complete without them! She also arranged for a (JW) brother from the local congregation to come and conduct a study with us. This is when I really began to see the light.

Before the brother was able to get permission to study with us, I had been able to get two other persons interested in the "truth" of the Jehovah's Witnesses.

When the brother came, he informed me that since I had been disfellowshipped from the congregation, that I would have to be treated as such and I would not be able to comment or even talk if I attended the Bible studies.

He also informed the other two that they were not to converse with me except on spiritual matters and all other association should be cut off since I was a wrong-doer. This seemed extreme to me since I was the one that got them interested in the first place.

But wanting to be humble, submissive and showing my repentant attitude, I followed the instructions; well, almost.

During the meetings, I began to utter comments when I thought there was something that needed to be added to a comment in order for the new ones to understand more fully. I thought this would be helpful but the brother looked at me with indifference and apathy.

I soon stopped attending and never once did the brother come to ask me why I stopped, to see if I was ill or anything. So I began studying on my own.

Once you set aside the Watchtower, the Awake! and the other Society's publications and begin reading the Bible on your own, a lot of questions about the things you have learned come to mind and I wanted to know the answers to those questions.

So who better to ask than my mother. She had been studying for over 20 years so she should know or could get the answers. But the funny thing was that she could not! So I started looking for answers elsewhere.

That's when I came in contact with David Reed's books and Watchman Fellowship. Fred Russell of Watchman Fellowship traveled from the Arlington, Texas, office to visit me personally and talk about my spiritual questions.

Finally I had someone who took a genuine interest in helping me find these answers and others that I had never considered and I realized why my mother could not find the answers to these questions.

I was sent several publications from people that I did not even know. I was sent the Watchman Expositor along with several books on Jehovah's Witness theology.

I should have taken the time to read some of this material more carefully because in my haste and eagerness to share what I had learned with my mother, I sent her some tracts that I had received so that she would have her eyes opened as I had.

This is a portion of the letter that I received from her in response to the tracts:

"I read the tract that you sent, and it's not really a surprise, but it's sad. You know, the brother of the anointed are yet human, but some people don't understand that, yet, Jehovah continues and will continue to use them until He ends this `old system.'

"So if you don't want to serve your heavenly father, please don't talk about He and His organization. You are in your lowest state of life now and you should be trying to repent your sins and there you are talking the organization down....

"Anyway, you surely do not know just how much you have hurt me and pained my heart. I'll get over it, but if you can't give some thought to changing your way of life, I'll just have to make the decision not to be your friend anymore.

"If you think this is just a threat, try me and see if I back off. Your daddy may not be a servant of Jehovah, but he sure had not turned apostate. That's the last straw!"

She has not written much since then and she has not come to visit either. But I continue to study and research and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to find a way to reach her before the end really does come.

And with friends like Fred Russell of Watchman Fellowship and others, the burden is easier to bear.